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Real Programmers

Real Programmers don't write specs
users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.

Real Programmers don't comment their code
If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

Real Programmers don't write application programs
they program right down on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't do systems programming.

Real Programmers don't eat quiche
In fact, real programmers don't know how to SPELL quiche. They eat snickers and drink coffee.

Real Programmers don't use SAP
SAP is for wimpy application-VBdesign programmers.

Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time
But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into working in "only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions.

Real Programmers never work 9 to 6
If any real programmers are around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.

Real Programmers don't use Visual Basic
Actually, no programmers write in these, after the age of 12.

Real Programmers don't document
Documentation is for simps who can't read the listings or the object deck.

Real programmers think in hexa
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